We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
