you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
