"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
