That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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