Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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