She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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