The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
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