I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
