I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS