Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?