I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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