Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
