I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
