Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Terrible idea I love it
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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