i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
