you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize