Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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