You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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