didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I faked an abortion last night.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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