Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
