If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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