it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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