Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm bleeding and have questions
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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