I am puke
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
