her vagine was all disorganized.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
