Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
A bitchslap is in order.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
