i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
