My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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