can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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