I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
