I think I am morally bankrupt
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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