i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
