I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
