The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize