we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
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Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
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Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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