I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
