You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The air was thick with penises
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
