My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize