it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
