sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
