I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I think weed is turning my hair brown
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
