discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
