Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
