If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
