you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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