who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize