Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
