You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
