I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
