The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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