haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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