I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
