A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
