Where are you?
In a non slutty way
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
