Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
