I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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