So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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