I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
