Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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