i already hear my dad disowning me
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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